500+ Par-Fectly Hilarious Golf Jokes for Every Golfer in 2025 are exactly what your golf game needs to stay under par and over the top in laughs!
Whether you’re a weekend warrior, a putting pro, or just in it for the 19th hole, this ultimate collection of funny golf jokes will keep your swing loose and your spirits high.
With fresh humor tailored for 2025, these one-liners, puns, and tee-hee moments are perfect for sharing on the green, in the cart, or across your golf group chat.
Ready to turn bogeys into belly laughs? Let’s dive in! 🏌️♂️😂
Golf Joke Presents
- You’re tee-rific, so I got you this gift
- Fore-get your worries, it’s time to unwrap fun
- I hope this gift isn’t up to par—it’s way above
- Just like your swing, this gift took many tries
- Warning: this present may slice to the right
- Open carefully, it’s got more spin than your 7-iron
- This isn’t a golf ball, but it’s still a good driver
- May this present help lower your score or your expectations
- Just like your putts, this gift took forever to get right
- This present is more consistent than your short game
- You can’t shank this, even if you try
- Wrapped with the precision of a PGA caddie
- It’s not a birdie, but it’s close
- Comes with free golf puns and questionable fashion
Golf Joke of the Day
😂
- Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of pants? In case they get a hole in one
- What’s a golfer’s favorite type of music? Swing
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of socks? In case he got a hole in one
- How does a golfer stay calm? He takes a swing at stress
- What do you call a lion playing golf? Roar McIlroy
- Why don’t golfers ever get lost? They always follow the course
- What do you call a bad golfer? A rough player
- Why did the golfer go to jail? He was caught driving under the green
- What’s a golfer’s worst nightmare? A par-anoia
- Why do golfers avoid arguments? They like to keep things under par
- What do you call a golfing ghost? A bogeyman
- Why was the golf club embarrassed? It had a bad grip on reality
- How does a golfer flirt? With a smooth swing and a tee-he
- What did the driver say to the putter? You complete me
- Why was the golfer always calm? Because he knew how to chip away at problems
Funny Golf Joke
- I’m not saying I’m bad at golf, but I just hit a birdie… and it wasn’t on the scorecard
- Golf: the only sport where yelling “fore” doesn’t mean you’re ahead
- I played so badly, the ball filed a restraining order
- My golf swing is like a broken clock—right twice a day
- The course asked me to stop playing—I was lowering the property value
- I don’t always play golf, but when I do, I lose a dozen balls
- I thought I was improving until my ball asked for a transfer
- I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure… which club to use
- My driver’s great… at helping me find the trees
- My putting is so bad, even the hole dodges
- I’m in a committed relationship—with my sand wedge
- I don’t always slice, but when I do, it’s impressively off-course
- My golf balls have a great sense of adventure
- I shot an 82 today—on the front nine
Moses Jesus Golf Joke
😇
- Moses splits the water hazard, Jesus walks over it, and your ball still lands in it
- Jesus tees off and the ball floats—divine intervention
- Moses parts the rough, Jesus says “Let there be par”
- Moses says, “It’s a miracle I made that shot.” Jesus replies, “Watch this.”
- Moses brings the Ten Commandments—Jesus brings a 10-iron
- Jesus uses no cart—he walks every course
- Moses is great at parting fairways
- Jesus putts like he’s turning water into wine—pure magic
- God tells Moses and Jesus to play through
- Moses drives straight, Jesus drives holy
- Jesus says, “Let there be green,” and it was manicured perfectly
- Moses brings tablets, Jesus brings tees
- Jesus misses the green—calls it a test of faith
- Moses and Jesus team up—call themselves The Holy Swingers
Nate Bargatze Golf Joke
🎤
- I hit the ball, then apologized to the grass for hurting its feelings
- I’m not bad at golf—I’m just accidentally consistent
- My swing looks like I’m swatting a bee with a broom
- I asked my ball to go straight. It replied, “Not today”
- My scorecard looks like a lottery ticket
- My caddie left halfway through. Said he had “a life”
- I once yelled “Fore!” before I even swung
- If golf was bowling, I’d be a champion
- Every hole I play is a par 37
- My best shot? Hitting the cart girl on accident
- Golf is the only sport where failing makes you look rich
- I call my driver “the wild card”
- My game plan? Hope and hydration
- I once hit the clubhouse… while still on the range
- I putt like I’m stirring soup
Jesus Golf Joke
🙏
- Jesus plays golf on Sundays—after the sermon
- Every time he misses, he blesses the club
- Jesus doesn’t use a cart—he floats to each hole
- He never yells “fore,” just says, “Peace be with you”
- Water hazards? More like water sidewalks
- Jesus once birdied with a fish and a loaf
- His clubs? Just blessed sticks
- His glove? The Shroud of Tur-In
- He doesn’t use tees—he raises the ground
- Jesus prays, swings, and never slices
- Par? He walks on it
- Jesus’s scorecard only shows forgiveness
- Sand trap? That’s just his desert retreat
- When he hits a tree, the leaves clap
- Golf with Jesus? It’s always divine intervention
Best Golf Joke
🏆
- I’m not losing balls, I’m donating to nature
- Golf is 10% skill, 90% lost balls
- I played so bad, even my GPS said “You’re on your own”
- Golf: where one good shot erases nine bad ones
- I call my swing “experimental art”
- The fairway is just a polite suggestion
- If golf taught me anything, it’s patience and how to fake a smile
- I wear two gloves—for comfort and tears
- My golf ball has PTSD
- Every round ends with “never again”… until next week
- Golf is the only place I cheer for small holes
- I hit the ball so hard, I gave it a panic attack
- If you can’t dazzle them with skill, confuse them with movement
- My ball doesn’t go far, but it travels with heart
- I golf for the fresh air… and rage control practice
Dirty Golf Joke
😈
- My shaft’s longer than your driver
- Want to grip my club? It’s got a good feel
- I like my holes tight and well-kept
- Let’s work on our strokes together
- My balls love getting cleaned
- I can go all 18 holes—no cart needed
- Mind if I putt it in the backdoor?
- I’m not always in the rough—but when I am, it’s wild
- My driver’s not the only thing with power
- I’ve got a wicked slice—and a filthy mind
- Let’s get a little dirty on the greens
- Careful, I swing both ways on the fairway
- My favorite position? Bent over the tee box
- I’m not just good with irons—ask around
- You should see how I handle a tight lie
Conclusion
Whether you’re looking for clean laughs, divine puns, or something with a little more edge, this collection of golf jokes has you covered from tee to green.
Great for gifts, daily humor, or spicing up your game day chatter, there’s a joke here for every type of golfer.
Now go out there and swing with a smile—after all, golf is serious fun!
